Camp. God, camp. Five weeks of actual paradise.
And now I'm back at my house.
Not my home.
I think, to start with, I'll list some of the biggest things I did.
First of all, i saw my friend Alex again. She's been so important in my life, and it's safe to say that she's one of the main reasons that I'm still alive.
We played Wink, a violent game where you have to stop the person in front of you from kissing the person in the middle of the circle. I got kicked a lot, got a bloody lip. It's so fun.
Alex taught me to swing dance and to do the Charleston (sort of)
We went to volunteer at a humane society. I walked an amazing German Shepard named Georgia. Then while i was running another dog down a hill, i tripped over it and rolled down the hill, and ended up with a lot less skin. It was awesome.
We went to a rodeo, where i got henna on my leg and my (black) friend Nick bought a confederate flag hat. It was pretty great.
I worked in maintenance, housekeeping, farming, and kitchen. While housekeeping made me want to tear my eyes out, maintenance and farming were definitely my favorite. Although i think i took like fifteen total chocolate bars from the kitchen.
I spooned with Alex and two other people on a tiny twin bed, which was fun.
We went to a concert of the band Porch 40, which wasn't fun at first, but got great after it started raining and they started doing covers. They put us on their instagram, which is epic.
I flashed my boobs at some people. And kissed some people. And got a hickey from a person. And then everyone just stopped caring and walked around naked.
Alex cut my hair. She chopped off about six inches, and honestly, it feels amazing. I've always been scared to cut my hair, and one day i just thought "fuck it" and she's great with hair and stuff, so...
The local semi-feral cat left us several eviscerated rats. She's really sweet.
For forth of July, we took off our shirts and smeared our faces with charcoal and danced around a fire. It was awesome.
Then we had the Elf Graham Incident. Basically, one person started stealing as much of the leftover snacks, (chocolate elf grahams), as they could carry. Then everyone started stealing them. We hoarded them in one persons guitar case. Then, after dinner, they were GONE. We later found out that another person hid them all. When they were found, everyone grabbed as much as they could and raced in different directions. Some hid theirs in treestumps, some under boardwalks. It got very intense.
We went on a high ropes course, where we all pretended to be Lara Croft. Very fun, I also got my period 35 feet in the air.
I learned to make roasted potatoes for 130 people, giving myself an epic blister.
We went roller skating, I was horrible, no surprise there, but then i won a weird pink gorilla/rhino/thing and gave it to a startstruck lil child. Starstruck at my incredible arm-aiming skills. And bombshell lipstick.
My lovely wife, Alex, (totally legally) got us toy engagement rings. Later, my other wife, Kendall, had Robert make us each rings as well.
Our Ascender project was building a 12 ft wall for people to try and work together to get themselves over. We did it ourselves, and it's pretty great.
Kendall bought a pineapple, so we built a shitty box to put it in at like 10 at night, then gave it to our friend Vee to pry open. Another huge highlight.
On our last day, we went to a lake. Alex, Kendall, and I walked on a trail around it. We came to a little wooden bridge over a freezing cold stream. Alex walked up the stream to adventure, while Kendall and I sat and talked. I reached down and pulled a beautiful, round stone out of the stream. I started crying. I was just so happy and so sad and everything was beautiful and perfect and I never wanted to move.
I didnt sleep that night. I literally decided not to go to sleep, because when i woke up, it would be over.
I think this was the most at peace I've ever been when leaving. We all cried a lot more later, but I was at peace. It was funny, as soon as i turned around and saw my mother, i got a pounding headache.
Now I'm going to list a bunch of memes that were ours so that I dont forget:
- YAMMED, FUCKING YAMMED
-Grape
- schedge up
- a big and funny meme
- A thousand small and unfunny memes
- shouts out to...
- original content
- maybe for a hotdog!
- Gucci Main
- GUYS I GOTTA GO *takes off shirt*
- crazy how nature make dat
- Can i name my son___?
- ugh gag me with a spoon
It's so weird being home. Nothing feels real, like this place is the temporary retreat and I'm desperate to get home. I'm not home.
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