Bahamanos

Yeah so it's family vacation time. I'm currently writing this on the last day of our trip to the Bahamas. It was mostly pretty chill, with some excitement mixed in.

Some back story: the whole cruise we were trying to go on was a scam. They changed the rules and prices like nine times. And we had to sit through two timeshare meetings, about five hours each.

The cruise itself was nice, i guess. Everything is expensive. Everything.

First of all, when we got there, we went to a butterfly/bird sanctuary, which was BADASS. I made the mistake of buying a cup of nectar for the birds. There were like eight on my arms, three hanging off of my shoulders, one on my head, and one hanging on by my braid. And these were heavy birds. They then decided to thank me by shitting on me when they were done.

Second, i should mention that the Bahamas are fucking BEAUTIFUL. Like in all those pictures, where the water is like fifteen shades of bright blue and you're like, 'nuh-uh, that has to be touched up.'
ITS REAL.
THE WATER IS ACTUALLY LIKE FIFTEEN SHADES OF BRIGHT BLUE.
WTF.

Third, we went snorkeling. Twice. The first time, we went to a fairly small reef a few miles out at sea. We saw a ton of cool coral and some pretty chill fish. It was more exciting just cuz it was so new. The second reef however, is where all the amazing fish and stuff was at. We saw some really cool fishies, but then i looked up and THERE WAS A FUCKING GIANT-ASS TURTLE IN FRONT OF ME.
LIKE THIS HUGE LOGGERHEAD TURTLE LIKE FOUR FEET ACROSS WITH A GIANT FISH SUCKERED ONTO THE SHELL JUST SWIMMING ALONG LIKE A MAJESTIC FUCKING SEA COW
So i followed it for a while and then this secOND FUCKING TURTLE SHOWED UP AND JUST ZOOMED PAST LIKE WTF so eventually i just let them go on their merry way cuz i have the stamina of a six year old.

Fourth, I went parasailing. Twice. It's really amazing, being so high in the air. It;s weird how calm it is. Since only two people could go at a time, i went once with my mum and once with my dad. The first time went fine. The SECOND time however, things went down. And by 'went down,' i mean i fucked up.
Basically we're supposed so run with the wind to let the parachute lift us up. But i, for some reason, JUMPED off the dock. Which caused me to basically spin around and end up upside down. Which also caused me to hit the edge of the dock.
With my elbow.
Which ended up about as well as you might expect.
I'm about five inches of skin lighter now.

So yeah.