Feeling alive for the first time all year

Camp.
Mountain Camp.

It's the only place that I feel REALLY safe, actually not judged all year. For two weeks, I am more home than I am at my own house.

I fell off of a waterfall, got a minor concussion. As I couldn't breath and thought I might die, the only thing running through my mind was 'I don't really care, but this'll mean that my last words were "Wow it's so slippery that's what she said"'

Some of my best friends, Kieran and Maya were there. God I love them.
I literally do not know how to function outside of that life.
I miss it so much.

But after that, my and my friend Bambi went to see Paramore and Fall Out Boy in Atlanta for Monumentour!!!!!
Some lady puked on my shoes, I almost passed out from standing for 5 hours straight, and I could hardly move.

It was one of the best moments in my life.

~

We went to a big family reunion in Texas for my Great-aunt's 95th birthday.

I truly hate my mother.

and, on the plane ride home, I was finally able to finish my novella!

so yeah.

~

Tomorrow is the fist day of school.

I literally considered suicide for a few minutes rather than go back.

That's another thing, I think I might still be a bit suicidal. Not so much in a 'I wanna die' way but more in a 'If something were to happen, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't say no.'

So yeah.