Winter Break!!!

Exams are over.

The average time for falling asleep is 3AM.

The average time for waking up is 11AM.

After parents fall asleep, I sneak downstairs to eat ice cream.

Ah yes. This is the life.

Im kinda becoming an introvert.

hmm, I might have a career ahead of me.

on a sour note, my parents are pushing me more than ever to be an artist, when Im more interested in forensics. (Does that make me weird? Yeah.)

Also, I have an essay due.

And finally, I realized that I never put my tumblr on here, though I rarely ever go on it.

So here it is, so you can stalk me. Tumblr - offl99

Also, on Ifunny, I am Miss_Sherlock

aaaaaaaaaaaand yeah.

I don't know, its late, im bored, don't judge me.

(I love you.)

Goodnight, from 2AM land.

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EXAM DEATH BATTLE

IIIIIIIN THIIIIIS CORNER, ALIIIIICE THE FAAAAANGIIIIIRL

AND IN THIIIS CORNER, EXAAAAAAAMS, THE LEAN, MEAN KILLING MACHINE.

Studying?

StuDYING?

NO.



JUST FUCKING NO.


literally, I have to be studying Spanish, and all ive been doing I having long, metaphorical conversations with my friend, writing a proverbial birthday card for my other friend, watching supernatural, and eating my physiological noodles.

hell, I don't know the conjugation of Ser in the preterate tense?!

(whimpers)




...




(dies)




(comes back to life)



yeah so wish me luck

and that ill pas

and stuff.

kbye.

Maidenhood???

so, as you may know, I am a Pagan.

(as is my mother)

She wants to do this whole 'maidenhood' ceremony for me, cuz I got my period about five months ago.

That might me okay, (maybe) except for the fact that she and I aren't on the best of terms, and that fact that she's inviting about 20 people that are total strangers to me.

so I'm basically going to be holding a neon sign saying "HEY GUESS WHAT ALICE CAN BLEED FROM HER UTERUS."

No. thank. you.

And this 'ceremony' is in (lets see...)

exactly 2 hours.

mmmmmmuuuuuugtggghghmhjmfoooooooohhhhhhhppppppppppppppppphhhhh.


See, in this ritual, the mother is supposed to ask the child

"Hey yo, u wanna b a maiden?"

and the child says

"ya fo' shizzle"

or

"nah I b good for a while mebbe latr."

BUT NO

SHE JUST COMES UP SAYING

"Oh and by the way, im planning a maidenhood ritual for you in like two days."

I say "no, im good for now"

and SHE goes

"ITS NOT YOUR DECISION."

WHAT?

W-H-A-T?????

SER-I-OU-S-LY??????????????????????

I cut again.

there was a art opening at school, a gallery.

me being an art student, had a thing in it.

it was after school of course, around 6.

we went.

my parents left, and 'forgot' to take me with them.

it took about an hour for them to answer their phone, and actually realize.

my mom came to pick me up, stopping to pick up groceries before getting me.

finally, in the car, she said "You've seemed so angery lately. whats the matter?"

the matter.

WHATS THE MATTER.

YOU FUCKING TELL ME.

I'm Scared

This is a rather disturbing picture that I drew. (I can't tell if it'll pull up, just trust me). 

I am fairly certain that I'm clinically depressed, it fits everything I have. 

But how do you go up to your parents and say "Yo, I self harm, have an eating disorder, and need therapy. What's for dinner?"

No.

Doooooont think so.

And the strange thing is, literally, the only thing that's kept me from suicide multiple times is my fandoms. COME ON.

No, I'm not one of those hipsters that say "Oh, Supernatural is my liiiiiife." 

NO, LITERALLY, THIS IS WHAT KEEPS ME ALIVE SOMETIMES.

Supernatural tells me that family doesn't end in blood, and blood doesn't necessarily  mean family, and that anyone can change the world.

Doctor Who tells me that no one is unimportant, any one can be special.

Sherlock tells me that anyone can find a friend worth dying for, and anyone can be that friend.

These people are just actors.

Actors.

Story lines.

They don't even know what an impact they've made on me.

I connect - to them, to the story. I feel like I understand them, that they understand me.

I can laugh when they do, and feel actual mirth. 

I cry when they do, easy, loose tears, not painful sobs.  

I am happy. 

I am afraid of what will happen when this tiny thread - this tiny little connection - will stop working.

I am afraid of what I am becoming. 

Thank you for reading.

P.S.

Since I'm fairly sure the picture won't pull  up, I put it on my page, so just click my face and you can see it.

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