Apparently I'm Nothing But a Hooligan

So I went to my friend's graduation party. There was wings, swimming, cute rats, cake, pizza, great movies, friends, a sleepover... just everything you need really. It was great.

UNTIL my parents freaked the fuck out.

I came back from swimming to find my phone blown up with angry messages from them,,, about not answering them.
While I was in a pool.

Overlooking that, I cried so much the next day, (today), becaue there were many, MANY long disappointed talks in me.

About how this shows how I'm not really mature, how I dont respect myself, how i dont respect them, how I'm not serious about getting a job, how lying to them 'seems to be a pattern, (lol they've only found out about  0.01% of lies I've told them).

This after today, I took my mom's car to get fixed for her, ran errands, applied at Staples, went home and mopped the floor, vacuumed the whole lower floor, cleaned the back door and many windows, and went to pick my mom up for work. I dunno, that sounds like the little kid whining about how their unappreciated but still.

I've just started getting, like, EMOTIONS back for the first time in YEARS and so I've been kind of weepy lately.
And then this happens, which means I was sobbing (and at one point, hyperventilating), and generally being just a total MESS.
this while my parents are emotionlessly telling me how I obviously dont care about anything.

Im still emotional, I'm sorry. I had to go into a closet and rock back and forth for a few minutes.

I dont think I'm, going to be eating much for a whole.

4 Hours Hell = 40 Years

I found out that a close friend of mine had his dad attempt suicide. He was messed up for a while.

~

I competed in the Sand Arts Festival. Two friends and I made a really fat (naked) man with a pope hat. It took three hours, but it looked great. His name was Tarjet, worshipper of prices and good customer service.
Unfortunately, I also got EXTREMELY sun burned. Like tiny bubbles of fluid under my disgusting peeling skin sun burned.

~

I also had the AP Lang test. It was hell. Four hours of hell. There werent enough desks for all 200 students taking it, I couldnt really hear what the teacher was saying, I was exhausted b/c it was first thing in the morning, and the subject content was SO DULL that it was a struggle not to nod off.

At least now I know what Margaret Thatcher said about Richard Nixon, and that disobedience is good but always follow the rules, and how the U.S. doesnt accurately record bilingualism.

I had to stab myself in the leg to keep awake.

~

I've sent $950 to The Mountain, all the money I have. It's worth it, but not enough.