I'm the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen...

I will be seventeen in about an hour!

This year, I'm not going to be depressed about getting older. I'm too young for that. I'm home alone, just me and my cat, Loki, sitting between my legs.

Ice cream and M&Ms for breakfast
Chores and job applications for lunch.

No seriously, my parents are HEAVILY pushing me to apply to a bunch of places. Despite the fact that I'll be gone all summer. I dunno man.

My 'brother' and I have been planning to hang out and smoke weed for a while. I've never smoked before, so I'm honoring him to be my weed senpai.

(Marijuana? In MY good christian neighborhood??!!!)

We were supposed to Saturday, but the guy who was supplying bailed at the last second. Thanks a lot. So we just walked around for a while. I got rose lemonade, which was beautiful AND tasty; we climbed trees; we snuck into a hotel, waited for someone to take the elevator to a higher floor, and got into a conference room. (Which I stole a bowl of pretentious mints and a pen from. So edgy.)

~

Then yesterday I went to work cleaning my mom's office for the first time. I fell off of a stool and almost broke my hip probably, and I made 10$ for an hour and a half of work. Paying for Mountain Camp is gonna take a while.


It rained a lot, and I was sad. Everything was melancholy. Getting older, feeling broken, all that.

~

I know I'm not getting much, if anything, for my birthday. The Mountain is my birthday present. And I am MORE than alright with that.

I'd like to start a proper diary today, since my birthday is as good a time as any. At least for a year.

Who knows what the fuck I'll get up to?

It's Been a Damp Week

This whole week has been a battle.
My parents REALLY don't want me to go to camp.
They want me to go camps and programs about writing and journalism in order to have a more impressive resume for college. This was decided for me. Of course.

It took a week of researching programs that I could go to before and after camp. And I had to make a lot of agreements. And it can be taken away at any time. But I'm going!
I know they dont really understand just HOW important this is in one of the hardest times of my life, but it was very emotional. Lots of tears. Very damp.

~

Also, we got the results from the sleep lab I did. Apparently I have restless leg syndrome? I dont know. Then again, the other day I fell asleep in class and my leg jerked so hard that it hit the underside of my desk. Loudly. It was bad.

~

I'm taking the SAT tomorrow. Wow I am not excited. Wish me luck.

~

Finally, my bae Alex is going to be in Savannah next week. The excitement is SO real.

Sleep well :)