Please, Eleven Years Isnt Enough

My cat, Bamboo, went missing a week ago. He has a bad leg and is twelve years old, but he's incredibly smart. He knows how to avoid cars and animals and make friends with everyone and open doors.
Everyone in our neighborhood is looking out for him, they're all worried. We searched for him, put up signs. We got calls about a similar, but feral, cat.
I'm scared. He's always been there, an immovable presence in our lives. We adopted him from New Hampshire eleven years ago. He was almost adopted by some other people, but we got him first. He's one of those cats that dont seem like cats. They seem like people, who now and understand you.
And he's such a handsome boy.

We got a call form some people who think they saw a cat like him, wearing a collar.

I know that cats sometimes just wander off, but he's never done anything like this before.

Please send good thoughts to bring him home.

I just want my baby boy back.

~

I had three tests in a day, and I was so stressed out that I failed all three of them. If that doesnt explain the school system, nothing does.

I think my parents went to their first marriage counseling session.

Dad asked me a few mornings ago if i need to be hospitalized because of my lovely mental state. I told him I didnt think so. I dont think I'll do anything as drastic as active suicide, it's just there.

I signed up to be a backstage person for Junk 2 Funk, our school's fashion show and biggest event of the year. It's always sold out within hours. But they decided that they had too many people, and cut me and my friend. But then some head person asked me to help out and sort the dancers with their costumes, so there's that i suppose.

~

it's just thing after thing that seem to pile on. More weights on my ankles. I want to lie down and not move again.

Wow great job, just 10/10

Happy New Year.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

For new years, we were in a strangers house in Tallahassee. Dad was having his new opening, and a friend of a friend invited us for authentic Thai food (with lots of reaction-inducing shellfish).

We drank alcohol and watched cat videos on this guy's giant TV until the new year.
Wasn't great, but wasn't bad.

It was pretty unremarkable otherwise.
Except for one thing. Our cat, Bamboo, had been limping, so we took him to the vet. We found out that he has cancer in his leg. He'd have to get it amputated. Of course, I'd much rather have a three-legged cat than a dead cat. But he's such a sweet boy, everyone loves him. It was supposed to happen on the 6th, but the xray machine was broken, and had to be put off. So, we'll see.

The first week back to school wasnt too bad. I was just tired. Mom's looking to sign me up for yoga.

We had a family therapy session today. I cried of course, but it went alright all things considered. I was able to get some stuff off of my chest.
Until my mom felt the need to victimize herself. She started talking about how I never say, "I love you" to her, after we had already basically ended the session. My therapist was like yeah alright, not going for that crap. She advised that I ride home with my dad to calm down better.

When I told them that I'd rather go home with him, my mom said "Alright. Wait, that's not alright. That's just reinforcing that he's the favorite parent. I want you to come with me. Actually, do whatever you want. Go home with whoever."
Dad got angry at her, and said, "I KNEW you were going to do this, I knew it. Sophie, go home with either one of us."
At which point I broke down and just stood there.
Dad came back, gave me a hug, and apologized, saying that they'd both be downstairs when I was ready. I went to the bathroom and made it look like I hadn't been crying for two hours, before going downstairs.
Mom had left.
Dad took me to get some coffee and let me calm down, which I really needed.
Later, mom apologized to me by saying that she was sorry it had come to that. (???)
And then didnt bring it up again.

I went to math tutoring. I took a bubble bath and used a bath bomb. I stared at my computer screen. I dont know if I'm handling this.
Well, I'm still here, so. That counts for something.